you know, lately ive been thinking quite a bit about john lin's message during fellowship last week..
i know about the things in life that really do matter, but am i living my life out to portray that? will my life truly make a difference? how am i perceived by other people? am i a person that people enjoy spending time with? seriously speaking, if i died this very instant, what would people say about me at my funeral?

how would my closest friends describe me? what about my family? or even people that i simply pass by once in a while?
it isnt too pleasant pondering my own funeral, but ive been stuck on the idea ever since fellowship..

how do people view me? if someone i know was asked to give a eulogy at my funeral, what would he/she say?
i imagine theyd start out with something like this:

but then after that point, i really have no earthly idea what words would be used to describe my personality, attitude, or anything else about me.

all this talk about college and the future in general has really caused me to put everything back into perspective.
what will my life be like by this time next year?
its hard to imagine how its gonna be like to open a whole new door in my life. am i ready to be independent? its like im on some sort of game show or something, where i hafta simply choose a door, with the knowledge of knowing that whatever is behind the door is mine.

will i be able to take this huge step of faith, to dive into my future without knowing what lies beneath the murky waters?
*sigh* God, help me to answer this question with a resounding "yes."