wow. what a difference a single second can make.

this entire week..its been so..crazy. so many mixed emotions, all flowing through me at the same time.
went to work today, then went to church for the high school carnival. the whole day was going just fine.
my sister and i left church at around 10:15..i was heading to denny's to sit for 10-20 minutes to talk with everyone else going there.

it seemed like such a simple trip..what, a mere mile from church to denny's?
turns out, its a drive i will NEVER forget.
it's still playing over and over in my mind.

simon was in the car next to me. jeremy was in the next lane but behind me.
i glanced for a second over at simon's car, then turned back to look forward, and..
i was about 10 feet away from the jeep in front of me, and all i could see was the glow from its brake lights.
i tried to slam on my brakes, but it was too late.
so, going at about 60-70 miles per hour, i slammed into the jeep.

it all happened in a matter of seconds.
i keep asking myself "what if" questions..but deep down inside, i know theres nothing i can do now, so theres no real point in dwelling on it.
more than anything, im simply mad at myself for being so stupid and careless.
but, yeah, i believe God allowed this to happen for a reason. the accident could easily have been SO much worse. luckily, my sister and i were both wearing our seat belts, and no one got hurt. the car i hit had a few scratches and dents on her bumper. that's really as minor as it gets, which is pretty amazing..

and, yeah, my car, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. once i get a chance to, ill put pictures up, but, yeah, thats not really whats important now, obviously.
from now on, im gonna treat each day as if it were my last. im gonna truly thank God for each new day that he gives me.

*sigh* it's still so hard to believe. in less than a blink of an eye, i could have lost my life. or i could have lost my sister. or the woman in the car i hit could have died.
crashing at 70 mph? praise the Lord he kept everyone safe.

but, yeah, i really wanna thank everyone who stayed with me to try to calm me down and comfort me. all of you know who you are, and im really thankful for everything you guys did. tonight also really showed me that i truly have the best friends in the world, and i thank God for each of you.

well, im gonna try to get some rest, but i'll leave you with this song.
for some reason, after the accident, this is ALL i could think about. and then, coincidentally enough, peter IMed me with this song too. i really take it to heart now.
PTL again.

blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
where Your streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name
blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your name

every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say

blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name
blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name


blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
when the world's all as it should be, blessed be Your name
blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name

You give and take away, You give and take away
my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name