the dating question
i think i'll start off by saying that xiao yu is a very funny man, not to mention, a freakin' highroller. he's making NBA money over there at boeing, just a heads-up for all you ladies out there.

i was just reading his post about the whole "friend zone" thing.


basically the "friend zone" is the place where guys think they get "stuck" in, and no matter what they do, they will always be seen as "just a friend." there's another theory called the "ladder theory," where girls essentially have 2 ladders for all the guys in their lives. one ladder is for all the guys who are aka "dateable," while the other ladder is the all-too-familiar "just friends" ladder. and, yes, you guessed it. once you're on a ladder, you're on it fo life.

here's my question: what's the point behind all these dating theories filled with stuff like zones and ladders? is it to make guys believe that girls are just that easy to figure out? or is it for girls to use to scare off guys by threatening to put them on the wrong ladder or toss them in the friend dungeon?

personally, i find this all quite entertaining. i mean, sure, maybe it's not so healthy for this subject to always be on people's minds, but hey, at least it's funny. aahh!! no!! anything but the friend zone!!! please!!

my two cents on this topic is that when it comes to dating and relationships, no theories are going to help you. i mean, just look at all the Christian dating and marriage books that have been published in our generation.

"Over the last 30 years, more books have been written about marriage than in all the preceding 2,000 years of church history. But ask any pastor in America if there aren't proportinally more troubled marriages today than in any other era. We have all the how-to's, but homes are still falling apart."
- Jim Cymbala

i think people worry too much about who that perfect guy or girl is going to be who is just going to show up outta nowhere and make them fall head over heels because he/she is everything anybody would ever want in a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. people are in such a rush to run to the front door to meet that perfect "somebody" that they forget to stop by the hallway mirror to check their teeth for any lingering spinach or inspect their noses for any slimey boogers.

we frantically look ahead and behind, even checking our blindspots every 2 seconds just in case that special person might be driving right alongside us without us knowing, but for what purpose? if we all believe everything what comes out of our mouths, stuff like "God is faithful" and "God always provides," then what do we have to worry about?

instead of constantly wondering if he/she is "the one," we need to rest assured knowing that God knows best. if you are going to get married, God already has that perfect person in mind for you. so forget about all these labels we put on friendships or relationships or the people around us.

the ONLY relationship we need to worry about is the one we have with God.

the only person you can control is yourself (i learned that in my defensive driving class last weekend). keep your eyes set on God and becoming the man/woman He wants you to be, and you will be fine. remember, God's timing is a whole lot better than ours, in fact, it's perfect, so just give your dating life up to Him.

okay, there's my two pennies. keep the change.