am i good enough?
inadequacy. i've never had a problem with this feeling before, but now, on the eve of my first small group meeting, i'm overcome by that terrifying question: do i really have what it takes?

i hear myself worrying about all the what if's, but i can't stop even when i try. what if only 2 people show up? what if people come to the first meeting and decide that they're not interested? what if i don't have the answers to their questions? what if what if what if..

recently, i came across this passage by grantley morris concerning self-doubt:

Though bent by Adam’s crash and bashed by my own sin, God gave me my personality with its tastes, and for years I’ve been looking to him to mold me. So I believe that somewhere are people with cerebral plumbing like mine. They will appreciate my style and are most likely the ones God has called me to minister to. Should there be millions of them, I’ll be famous; if only a few, I’ll blend with the wallpaper. But it won’t affect God’s view of me. If popularity is a valid measure of success, our deserted Lord was a failure.

someone once told me that i should NEVER feel ADEQUATE. sounds strange, doesn't it? but when i thought about it, he was absolutely right. God knows that we aren't totally prepared for the things we do. God knows that we will face challenges and obstacles along the way. God knows that we will make mistakes.

but that's the beauty of it all. God knows we aren't perfect, yet he allows us to be part of his almighty plan nonetheless. He allows us to minster to those who may have the same struggles as us. and of course, it's always reassuring to know that He will never give us something that He knows we can not handle.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
- Philippians 4:23