just call me zane
yesterday i strolled around the mall with the mizzou city moks, not to be confused with the delaware or northwestern moks.

i was looking for work clothes. you know, i'm seriously turning a new page in my life. it's kinda sad, actually. work life has begun, and with work life comes the need for work clothes, which i realized i am very much lacking. it's like i gotta start all over with the whole clothing collection, back to square one. so no more tshirts and hoodies unless absolutely necessary. it's time for dress shirts and polos, all the way. baller shorts? put 'em aside, cuz it's time to make room for the slacks and khakis. hip shoes? no mas, says me. it's time for the black and brown variety to shine. i could go on, but i think you get the idea.

so i walk into banana republic, fling aside the clothes on display as fast as humanly possible in a fierce rage after glancing at the ridiculously high "are they really serious how could this shirt be so much" prices and race to the only section of the store i can feel somewhat sane in -- the sales section. you see, banana republic has this cute little tradition where the employees skip around the store making up absurd prices to put on all their items and reserve a small section of the store for the "normally-priced" (and i use this description liberally) clothes.

so i'm perusing through the goods, when i see this nice gray wool jacket. it looks pretty good, but i'm still not convinced, so i touch it. and man oh man, it was LAFT (love at first touch, fyi).

i try it on and decide to purchase the thing, so i did. i was in the process of walking out the door, when of course, with my mom being there, she gave a little shriek,pulled it out of the bag, and took about 10 minutes flipping it inside-out, making sure the zippers worked, and ensuring that the jacket contained no holes, scratches, ants, termites, lice, or weapons of mass destruction. it was like airport security all over again, i kid you not.

and along comes sunday morning. i'm getting ready for church service and realize that i hadn't really brought any clothes back with me from austin. so i throw on my habachi shirt and the brand spankin' new jacket and head on out.

on the drive to church, i kept looking down at my jacket. it was really distracting. cuz every once in a while, it seemed like it changed colors. by the time i got to church, i had no idea what color it was. depending on the viewing angle, anything from the range of gray to dark green was a possibility.

with much help from my church-going comrades, the case has been settled -- my jacket is green. which is a good thing, actually, since i don't have that color anyways. and it's still oh so comfy.

the only problem is i am now 100% paranoid about my potential color-blindness. so if i ask you to confirm the color of this or that, don't give me a confused look. all you gotta do is tell me the color. and please, the correct color would be nice. zane, if you're out there, please teach me to survive with this. but first things first, i gotta go memorize all the bang cards now. zane knows what i'm talking about. BRB.