reality check

im constantly pinching myself, wondering if it's really true. have i really just completed my first semester in college? is it possible?

well, either way, i don't remember the last time that i was *this* happy. i don't know, maybe it's the after effects of finals week taking control of my body. maybe it's the excitement from having an entire month off for christmas break. or, maybe it's the simple realization that God is good all the time. (and all the time God is good)

confused? i mean, yes, i have been a Christian for over 10 years, and it is JUST NOW that i realize this? no, of course not. well, technically, maybe. sure, i've regurgitated bible verses since the days when i still carried a lunch box to school, verses speaking of the awesomeness of God's grace, mercy, and love.

but recently, i'd say for the most part of this semester, many times i've felt overburdened by each aspect of life. school, relationships, friendships, family, everything that makes up this drama we call life. don't get me wrong, i haven't been miserable for the past 4 months or anything, but there's just been a part of me that felt trapped. trapped with seemingly no way out, so even as i would go through the daily routines of life, there was always this one part of me that was gnawing away at my spirit. i finally figured out what it was.

surrender. it's such a powerful word, isn't it? since camp, i've tried to "surrender all" to God on a daily basis, but only now do i realize that it truly takes time to be able to do such a thing. it's so easy to take things into your own hands because oftentimes we feel as it is in OUR hands where we have the most control of the situation. heck, society brought us up to think like that.

but the funny thing is, we're not supposed to be in control. God is. God and ONLY God is big enough to handle all of our everday problems. when we try to conquer life on our own, we're left feeling overwhelmed and often disappointed. it's when we realize that it's not about us that we are truly free.

everyday is God's day -- when will YOU realize this?

My God
- Point of Grace

All my life you have been with me
How could I pretend not to see
I was walking on the line
I was wasting precious time
All I know is that you love me
If I call you will set me free
It's a promise that you made
It's the truth that will not change
Please help me to remember

My God has never let me down
My God has turned my world around
He loves me even though I know I don't deserve him
My God has never turned away
He's with me every single day
He's broken all the chains and set this captive free

Seems to you all your hope is gone
Never found a love that strong
It's a chance you have to take
A choice you've got to make
I hope that you' remember