home sweet..where?
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone..

..You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."
- Andrew Largeman, Garden State

if you haven't seen Garden State, you should go see it. if you have seen it, then you probably remember those lines.

i suppose it all started last year when i first moved into my jester east dorm. it was kinda weird at first, considering i now had to sleep in a new room every night. but of course, it was more than that.

i went back home a lot last year. i guess it's all pretty normal, right? first year in college, you're supposed to get homesick. but the strange thing was after each return home, sugar land would feel less and less like "home."

it almost felt like austin was my new "home," and sugar land was nothing more than my "home away from home." but does it really matter? where exactly is home?

to me, the word "home" means so much more than its definition as "a place where one lives." when i think of "home," my mind is filled with various memories of birthday celebrations, Thanksgiving feasts, Christmas get-togethers, laughter and tears, etc etc.

but at the same time, i can't help but admit that i can feel "right at home" outside the house i grew up in. so i've decided on a new definition of home.

home is not a physical place. home is a feeling. a feeling of comfort and happiness that fills your body when you are around the people in your life that you really love and care about. so whether i'm in sugar land or austin, as long as i'm with my friends or family, i am definitely at home.

so i guess..home really is where the heart is..

early thanksgiving
it's never too early to be thankful, right? right.

well every thanksgiving, my family gets together and we share stuff that we're thankful for in the past year. i know, it's not that creative, but hey, it's all good.

anyways, i've been thinking about it a lot, and you know, i realize that i really do have a whole lot to be thankful for. i'll try my best not to make it too mishy mushy and really sound sincere, so bear with me.

so much has happened in the past year, i suppose we'll date it back to last thanksgiving. so here it goes..

(i'm going to try not to list specific names because i'm really scared of leaving people out)

i'm thankful for my family. my parents have given me countless wake-up calls, and most of the time, they go incredibly under-appreciated. i usually just pick up the phone with a groggy voice, and mutter "i'm awake i'm awake" and don't even remember to thank them. i'm also thankful for my brother and sister. it's definitely tough seeing them kinda "all grown up" now, but i guess i'm going to have to get used to it. thanks for not forgetting about me these past few months while i've been up here at UT. i'm sorry i missed your birthdays, but trust me, i will make it up to you guys. most of all, thanks for keeping me in your prayers. and try not to worry about me so much, i'm a big kid now.

i'm thankful for my old friends. thanks for always sticking by me, no matter how unintentional i've been in my relationships. thanks for always lending a listening ear and a crying shoulder. i know it's cliche, but i really do believe that i have the best friends in the world. thanks for all the laughs, all the tears, and all the moments that really make life worth living. thanks for keeping me accountable, and for praying for me whenever the need arose. you guys are awesome.

i'm thankful for my new friends, the people i've gotten to know since coming to college. it's kinda hard to believe that a year ago on this day, i hadn't really taken the effort to go out and meet new people, but i'm so thankful that God finally brought me out of the comfort of my room and into the lives of you guys. thank you guys for accepting me as a third roommate, for laughing with me, for laughing at me, for taking the time to get to know me better, for all the late-night food runs, for showing me the true meaning of compassion, for being amazingly patient with me, for trusting me, for making my day, for balling with me, for supporting me, for praying for me, for eating with me, for putting up with me, and for all the unbelievable memories that i will certainly never forget. i know it's a broad list, but i'm sure you guys will know who you are. thank you for helping me feel at home here at UT.

last, but certainly not least, i'm thankful for God's guiding hand in my life. i feel like every single time that i've felt so helpless, guilty, or just all in all unworthy of His love, He has kept His promise and never left my side. He has provided for me in my biggest times of need. He has been there for me even when i have neglected Him. He has made up for my lack of faith with answered prayers and a core of indescribable friendships to encourage and build me up. He has given me strength and comfort during times when i have felt so incredibly inadequate. He has given me patience in areas where i truly needed it the most. Thank You, God.

so during this time designated for "thanksgiving," i can't help but get teary-eyed whenever i think about this past year and how thankful i am for everything that's happened. i'm not sure who's really reading this, but more likely than not, i am thankful for you.

=)

no regrets
so after a very enjoyable weekend, i came away with 2 very sore legs, but hey, i'm not complaining.

yesterday was homedawgcoming 2004 -- return to innocence. major props to everyone who helped to put everything together and make the whole dance possible. DJ kwanzaa put together a nice songlist with r&b, rap, slow, swing, kicker, and even a hint of tango music.

the night even included a blackout for about 10 minutes or so. then some really cool people started singing backstreet boys. too bad the lights were off and we couldn't tell who the pop stars were.

i wish i had a picture or something to go with this rather bland post, but you're gonna have to contact the paparazzi for those.

hm. i'm sorry, i've just been overcome with an incredible urge to go to sleep. good night.