"if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself."we all have something, somewhere. a certain place that makes us feel totally at home, where we fall back on when things are going bad, to kind of redeem ourselves and make us feel like everything's gonna be okay.
- galations 6:3
a place where we, unfortunately, feel invincible. as if we could go on forever under our own power.
it's pride. everyone's got it, to some degree, at least. it's funny, we find our pride in the strangest and most inconsequential of places. i can just imagine God looking down on us sometimes, shaking His head as we toil around and cause such a fuss over things that don't matter. actually, i picture Him chuckling because i know He's got a good sense of humor. such meaningless things..maybe it's the fact that we know a lot of people. maybe it's the clothes that fill your closet. for me, it's the basketball court.
of course, this is not the only place that my pride shines through, but it's definitely up there. when i have a basketball in my hands, i feel like i'm totally in control. it doesn't matter who's guarding me, i just know he can't stop me.
and that, ladies and gentleman, is what i've been struggling with this past semester. no, not just on the basketball court, that was just an attempt to illustrate my point. i guess i didn't do too good of a job..
i'm sure you've all heard the saying "be careful what you wish for." i think, more importantly, you should be careful what you pray for. i prayed for God to teach me something new, and that's exactly what i got.
God broke me. plain and simple. over the past few months, i feel like my life has taken a 180 degree turn. one moment, everything was good, and then all of a sudden, nothing was right. spiritually, emotionally, relationally, academically, everything. i thought i had it all in control, and then, it's as if my life had slipped right through my tight grip.
but there's the problem. i was never the one in control anyways. it wasn't my doing that i had a caring family. it wasn't because of anything i did that allowed me to have the best friends in the world. nothing, absolutely NOTHING was in my control. if it was my responsibility to maintain control over my life, then CRAP i've got a huge dilemna on my hands. how could i have forgotten that?
i owe God a huge THANK YOU for every blessing in my life, and yet, time and time again, i allow my pride to take over. i mean, i'm not gonna lie -- it felt good to "have everything together." but of course, i couldn't take credit for any of it.
i was on my own basketball court, ball in hand. looking around, seeing everything that seemed so right, i had forgotten that without God, i was nothing. it is through God that i have life, and He is always in control, through the thick and the thin.
it's been hard, yes. a lesson learned the hard way, for sure. but through it all, i'm so thankful for it. God's really opened my eyes to his awesome love, for maybe the 24703rd time. thank you :)
Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty
Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
