overly exercised
i am not sure what the point of this entry is, except maybe to tell the world that too much of anything is always a bad thing, even when it comes to exercise.

today i worked out every muscle in my body lifting weights, swam until i ran out of breath and almost blacked out, and ran up and down the basketball court for 2 hours, winning 4 straight games.

and why? i'm not sure.

i think i gotta learn to say NO every once in a while when people invite me to go exercise.

NO MORE EXERCISE!

well, at least until saturday.

wait, what? what did you just ask? WHAT'S HAPPENING SATURDAY?

WHAT: FOOTBALL/FRISBEE/SOCCER/BBQ

WHO: SOPHOMORE AND FRESHMAN GUYS ONLY

WHEN: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH, 5:00 PM

WHERE: CLARK FIELD

WHY: TO MINGLE WITH THE NOOBS

thanks for asking. now you have no excuse not to be there. unless you're a girl. or not a sophomore. or not a freshman. or not attending the university of texas.

am i good enough?
inadequacy. i've never had a problem with this feeling before, but now, on the eve of my first small group meeting, i'm overcome by that terrifying question: do i really have what it takes?

i hear myself worrying about all the what if's, but i can't stop even when i try. what if only 2 people show up? what if people come to the first meeting and decide that they're not interested? what if i don't have the answers to their questions? what if what if what if..

recently, i came across this passage by grantley morris concerning self-doubt:

Though bent by Adam’s crash and bashed by my own sin, God gave me my personality with its tastes, and for years I’ve been looking to him to mold me. So I believe that somewhere are people with cerebral plumbing like mine. They will appreciate my style and are most likely the ones God has called me to minister to. Should there be millions of them, I’ll be famous; if only a few, I’ll blend with the wallpaper. But it won’t affect God’s view of me. If popularity is a valid measure of success, our deserted Lord was a failure.

someone once told me that i should NEVER feel ADEQUATE. sounds strange, doesn't it? but when i thought about it, he was absolutely right. God knows that we aren't totally prepared for the things we do. God knows that we will face challenges and obstacles along the way. God knows that we will make mistakes.

but that's the beauty of it all. God knows we aren't perfect, yet he allows us to be part of his almighty plan nonetheless. He allows us to minster to those who may have the same struggles as us. and of course, it's always reassuring to know that He will never give us something that He knows we can not handle.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
- Philippians 4:23

sometimes you get so caught up with living life right..
that you forget what life is really all about.

sometimes i feel like every aspect of my life has made me so calloused to what happens around me -- it just takes something big to truly put things into perspective.

as i think of you almighty
all you are and all that you'll be
you are all my world will ever need

redeem this love song's melody
with all you are and all that you'll be
Jesus, you alone will reign as king

sometimes there's nothing better than a few shed tears.

brokenness, brokenness, is what i long for..
brokenness is what i need..