we're not in kansas anymore, toto...

so here i am. sitting in my dorm room, bobbing my head to some relient k, and thinking about how the heck i got here. im at UT, for school. ha. just seems so out of this world, doesn't it? but then again, im getting used to it pretty quickly; things are awesome so far. i feel so wonderfully FREE for the first time in a long while. didn't do too much today; helped my cousin move into his dorm at A&M, moved into my dorm, said goodbye to my family, bummed around with scott and annie, and now im here. in front of my computer. left wondering when exactly i wanna take a shower, or even if i want to take a shower at all. hehe, maybe ive got a bit TOO much freedom =P

but anyways, things are going ok up here, miss all of you guys back in sugar land though!

don't cry because it's over...because IT'S NOT!

i feel like somewhat of a hypocrite saying that cuz i actually got teary-eyed today saying my farewells to everyone. pooh, goodbyes are always so hard. but it's awesome knowing that it's not really "goodbye," merely a "see you later." ive always cherished all my friendships, but it was at camp when i truly realized how blessed i really am to have so many people in my life who i can turn to. i thank God for each one of you guys. you are one of the millions of reasons that makes life so awesome. sitting here just thinking, it seems like my life is really flashing before my eyes. hehe but in a good way :) so many memories are playing over and over in my mind, and all these thoughts are making it harder and harder to leave. but then again, i know for a fact that the future will only bring more lasting memories, so im looking forward to them too. ahh im sucha pansy; my vision is getting blurred with tears while im just typing this. but this time, theyre only tears of joy. im gonna miss everyone not going up to UT with me, but at the same time, i praise God for bringing each of you into my life. and i know that no matter how far we are apart, God'll keep our friendship going. cuz He's just faithful like that =)

so until next time we meet face to face..here's to our past memories, as well as the ones to come...
*raises glass*

i will not conform any longer...

im not afraid to be weird. "weird," meaning different from the "normal" lifestyle that society has created over the years. so many things are wrong in this world today that many times it's difficult to find something that's RIGHT with it. just look at the television shows airing now. all these reality shows and whatnot trying to show that skimpy clothing and sex is "reality." but then again, i guess it really is. just look around. billboards, movies, internet, everywhere you turn, there's sexual content. movies are flooded with strong language and drug content and sexual content. so in today's world, if you don't cuss, if you don't do drugs, if you don't have sex, if you if you if you, the list goes on and on; if you don't do these things, then you're weird. so how about this? let's all be weirdos.

the world's full of temptations. let's shine through the darkness and make 'em wonder what we got.

Shine
- Newsboys

Dull as dirt,
You can't assert
The kinda light that might persuade
A strict dictator to retire
Fire the army,
Teach the poor origami.
The truth is in,
The proof is when you hear your heart start asking
What's my motivation?
And try as you may
There is no way
To explain the kinda change
That'd make an eskimo renounce fur
That'd make a vegetarian barbeque hamster
Unless you can trace this about-face to a certain Sign

Shine.
Make'em wonder whatcha got.
Make'em wish that they were not
On the outside looking bored.
Shine.
Let it shine before all men.
Let em see good works and then
Let em glorify the lord.

Out of the shaker and onto the plate,
It isn't karma it sure ain't fate
That would make a deadhead sell his van
That would make a schizophrenic turn in his crayons
Oprah freaks
And science geeks
A rationale that shall excuse this strange behavior
when you let it Shine
You will inspire the kind of entire turnaround
That would make a bouncer take ballet
Even bouncers who are unhappy
But out of the glare
With nowhere to turn
You ain't gonna learn it on "What's my Line?"

Shine.
Make'em wonder whatcha got.
Make'em wish that they were not
On the outside looking bored.
Shine.
Let it shine before all men.
Let em see good works and then
Let em glorify the lord.

Shine.

so the other day when i was busting out with my creativity skills in an attempt to think of a crazy awesome new aim screenname, i think of trying "jonathan mok" as an sn. yeah, EXTREME CREATIVITY, baby. so i type it in, and to my confusion, it said that someone else already had that sn. boggles your mind, doesn't it? i mean, i know it's an awesome name and all, but how many people could be so creative as to think of it?

then yesterday rolls along, and as usual, i go into hotmail to check my email. and in my junk mail folder, im skimming along and i see this email from "jonathan mok." it didn't surprise me too much, cuz ive gotten them before from various email addresses trying to spam stuff or whatever, but the subject was "i was born first."

so im curious and i decide to read what's inside...

Wsup Jonathan, decided to put my name in Google search and i came up with your photo book. Although i don't know you, i feel that since you share my first and last name i should share that another you exist. I am in NYC and 25 yrs of age, Chinese.

Laterz MOK!

weirdness...

but anyways, everyone's starting to pack up their things for college. it really does feel so strange cause, using annie's words, "it's like you're packing your life away." how true. just seeing all my clothes piled on my bed, it seems like im going on some sorta month-long vacation or something. but then again, maybe that's what college will feel like: just one long vacation. hehe eric chan and i would always joke around in calculus class last year about how we needed a paid vacation, so i guess this is what i get =P

oh here's TODAY'S act of intelligence by a college-freshman-to-be:
littlecanoe4111: have you packed your comp yet?

wow.

no, im not a girl

babytaiyan: just wonderin who this fallin for you was
babytaiyan: haha
fallin f0r Y0U: hehe
fallin f0r Y0U: not a girl =P
babytaiyan: i know!!=-O*gasp*
fallin f0r Y0U: hahaha
babytaiyan: *ahem* *gay!*
babytaiyan: :-P
fallin f0r Y0U: now was that really necessary
babytaiyan: :-Duh huh!! *nodnodnod*

mmk. ive had enough! once i get up to UT, im not gonna use fallin f0r y0u anymore. so, yeah, from now on, if you wanna reach me on AIM, i'll be using bam warrior.

..ok i'll just take a little bit of time and effort to try to explain this once and for all. the word "bam" stands for prayer. pretty hard to explain, but lemme try to give you the best illustration possible. you pray, and BAM. God answers your prayers. awesome, no?

eh, if you don't get it, then im sorry. maybe you're just not weird enough..

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
- 1 Corinthians 10:31

one of the most important lessons i learned through ryan kwon's messages was to really live for God. after so many years of sunday school and everything, i guess i had gotten so accustomed to using phrases like "all for God's glory" and "surrender it all" without even realizing what these words actually meant. one particular thing i remember ryan saying was "even when you're playing ball, do it for God's glory." to be honest, that confused the heck outta me. inside, i was just thinking, "so what does that mean? is God telling me not to talk trash? or should i witness to people when im playing ball?" by the end of camp, i realized that even the smallest details in life matter. to do everything for God's glory entails, among other things, doing every little thing wholeheartedly. as jeremy said tonight in dgroup, "if you don't do it wholeheartedly, you're just wasting your time." its hard to believe, but aside from praising and praying to God, iono if i've ever done anything wholeheartedly. when i do things, i either do it out of habit or obligation. this is especially true as far as school is concerned -- i need to make sure i study hard, not only for the sake of my GPA, but just cause that's my responsibility or duty as a student i guess you could say.

so, there ya have it. im officially retiring as anti-chump president. im joining the dark side, taking my plunge into the world of chumps..

..but as long as im gonna be a chump, im gonna be the best one out there. =P

HeyLookItsXiao: oh hey i thought of a variation
HeyLookItsXiao: to your last line on blog
fallin f0r Y0U: hehe
fallin f0r Y0U: what
HeyLookItsXiao: We praise.... and pray together... brothers fo life
fallin f0r Y0U: we praise together
fallin f0r Y0U: we flame together
HeyLookItsXiao: lol
HeyLookItsXiao: the roof!
fallin f0r Y0U: hahaha
fallin f0r Y0U: we pray together
HeyLookItsXiao: yeah we needa make a catchy saying
fallin f0r Y0U: we praise together
HeyLookItsXiao: flame boys for life
fallin f0r Y0U: brothers for life
fallin f0r Y0U: hahahahhaha
HeyLookItsXiao: dangit man... why'd we have to set the roof on fire

final JPG meeting was tonight. man..

where should i start? getting to know you guys has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. i'll always cherish all our memories -- discipleship group meetings, fellowship, winter getaway, camp, the list just goes on and on and on. wherever life takes us from here, you know i'll always be here for you guys. i know our friendships will only strengthen from this point on, and i just praise God for placing each of you in my life. i seriously don't know where i'd be without you guys there for me.

so, until the next time we all meet again (maybe in johnny's OWN house by then ;) ), JPGS FOR LIFE.

we ride together....we die together.... =P

mrs. fong's farewell luncheon was an awesome time of fellowship. gotta reminisce bout alot of memories and stuff like that, but most importantly, each one of us freshmen gotta share our future goals and aspirations..

hehe i recorded what everyone said, so maybe in a year or 2 or 3 or 4, we can look back and see if our "goals" were really attainable or just hopeless dreams =P

going along the same lines, i found this poem thing today on my desk as i was sorta cleaning up:

SUCCESS

If you think you are
beaten, you are;
If you think you
dare not, you don't,
If you'd like to win,
But think you can't,
It's almost a cinch,
you won't.
If you think
you'll lose, you're lost;
for out in the world
we find success begins
with a person's will,
It's all in the
state of mind.
Life's battles don't
always go to the
stronger or faster one;
But soon or late
the one who wins
is the one who thinks
"I CAN"

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:13

thinking back, i think my mom gave me this poem. i know you read this, so thanks mom :)

i think i can i think i can i think i can...

you can say it, "you're a genius"

so theres this farewell luncheon tomorrow at mrs. fong's house. and of course, everyone waits until tonight to start asking for rides and directions. and, it seems like im the only one who knows how to get to her house..

bOiNgcHubOiNg: hey uhhh
bOiNgcHubOiNg: whats mrs fongs address?
fallin f0r Y0U: erm...
fallin f0r Y0U: hah i dont got that stuff memorized man
fallin f0r Y0U: i just know how to get there
bOiNgcHubOiNg: oh...
bOiNgcHubOiNg: so how am i getting there?
fallin f0r Y0U: m..
fallin f0r Y0U: i could tell you how
fallin f0r Y0U: from your house
fallin f0r Y0U: drive down williams trace until you see the sugarwood subdivision on your right
fallin f0r Y0U: turn in, and make a left at the stop sign
fallin f0r Y0U: then you go all the way down
fallin f0r Y0U: follow the road
fallin f0r Y0U: until the first chance you get to take a left
fallin f0r Y0U: take the left, then take the next right
bOiNgcHubOiNg: uhh...
fallin f0r Y0U: and..yeah, her house is on the right..
bOiNgcHubOiNg: that doesnt make any sense to me
fallin f0r Y0U: lol
fallin f0r Y0U: right left left right
bOiNgcHubOiNg: ....
bOiNgcHubOiNg: great
bOiNgcHubOiNg: ill never get there

bOiNgcHubOiNg: wanna swing by my house to lead me to where she lives?
fallin f0r Y0U: sure thang bud
bOiNgcHubOiNg: k awesome

froggerinthesky: uhm...i suppose i'll just call u or somethin...
froggerinthesky: is that cool?
fallin f0r Y0U: sure thang bud

DarkJediPete: when's mrs. fong thing tomorrow
fallin f0r Y0U: 11
DarkJediPete: ok
DarkJediPete: can i get ride?
fallin f0r Y0U: sure thang bud

*shaking head* freshmen..

God
grant me the
SERENITY
to accept the things
I cannot change,
COURAGE
to change
the things
I can, and the
WISDOM
to know
the difference.

just finished picking my classes for the fall semester =)

hehe dunno why, but i actually found it kinda entertaining to choose my classes. im planning on taking 16 hours now instead of 13; i just hope that by the time 2:00 PM sunday afternoon rolls around, the classes i want are still available *crosses fingers*..

but anyways, so heres the plan. i was originally planning to move my stuff up to UT on saturday morning/early afternoon and return home the same night, but now i think the best option is to just move in for good, instead of coming back and returning on sunday after church. theres this business honors program orientation sorta thingie that i guess i should go to on sunday morning..

so im gonna try my best to say my goodbyes to everyone before i leave..even though UT is a mere 3 hours away, i still can't believe im actually leaving.

ah, here's to the future. *raises glass*

I'm sure my costumers never think about it, but these snapshots are their little stand against the flow of time...the shutter clicks, the flash goes off and they've stopped time.
- sy the camera guy, "one hour photo"

it wasn't until recently when i actually started appreciating pictures. i guess it all started when i decided to make some collages for my dorm room. i could literally spend hours looking at all my pictures if i had the time -- each one holds some sort of magic. so many memories of so many events all captured in a single picture.

*pooh*..wish i took more pictures..hehe

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

man what an awesome song. ive heard it a couple of times on the radio, but only today did i find out what the song title is. it's word of God speak, by mercy me. this year at camp, i really learned the importance of taking some time every once in a while to just stop talking and block out all the background noise. there was so much time at camp to just sit in isolation, just thinking about the wonders of God's amazing grace and mercy. now that im back home, it seems almost impossible to get a moment to myself. whether it's the tv, the computer, the phone, the radio, the cd player, or whatever, my life is constantly crowded with noise. but man, God has already shown me some new stuff in just this 1st week after camp, truly leaving me at a loss for words..

..and the funny thing is it's okay =)