it's like working out, right? you may be sore as heck now, but after it's all said and done, it will all be worth it. that's the way i see the past several months of my life.
i feel like overall my life has taken a 180 degree turn, and only now am i starting to rebound from it all. sure, this my not be rock-bottom, but sometimes it really does feel like it. spiritually, emotionally, physically, relationally, it's all been spiraling downwards. you name any "-ly" and it could probably be added to this list. and what have i learned from it all?
i've learned that i don't know myself as well as i thought i did, or even at all. i don't know my own patience, my own weaknesses, my own anything. i don't know what i'm gonna do for the rest of my life, and that has really been bothering me. at times it seems like i don't even have any direction to move towards, and needless to say, that disturbs me even more. my patience is lacking. my self-discipline is lacking. i am lacking.
i've learned that the most dangerous thing i could ever tell myself was that i had it all, and lo and behold, that's exactly how i felt. of course, naturally, i wanted to give off the impression that i had it all under control. unfortunately, i think i learned to believe that image myself. big mistake, to say the least.
i've learned that i have people in my life who truly care for me. true friends that are by my side through the thick and the thin. friends who are willing to give me good, hard advice and also just lay a hand on me to tell me everything's going to be okay. and for all this, i am so thankful.
i've learned that God never breaks us down for no reason. sure, maybe i already knew that, but i think you really have to go through it yourself firsthand before you really realize it. and right now, i only see the little corner of the picture my life that i feel like i've been crammed into. i only see the mess that my life feels like it's become, but i know that in time, God will reveal to me more of His reasons and His purpose through all this, and in turn, i will be able to see more of the big picture.
Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.
- Job 1:21
- Rebecca St. James
Sometimes my life just don't
Make sense at all
When the mountains look
So big, and my faith
Just seems so small
And I wake up in the night
And feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
There must be blisters
On my heart
Hold me Jesus
I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Hold me Jesus
Cause I'm shaking life a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Sometimes my life just don't
Make sense at all
When the mountains look
So big, and my faith
Just seems so small
And I wake up in the night
And feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
There must be blisters
On my heart
Surrender don't come naturally to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want, than
Take what You give that I need
Surrender don't come naturally to me
And I beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, falling on my knees
Saying hold me Jesus
Please hold me Jesus
Hold me Jesus
I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Hold me Jesus
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
My Prince of Peace
My Prince of Peace
My Prince of Peace
Hold me Jesus
Hold me Jesus
Hold me Jesus
Hold me Jesus
goodloving10: situations that break you enable God to show you what's really there and through those situations you learn and thats one of the best things you can take out of it...it could always be worse (with pretty much anything)...when you reach a certain point one can only go up *shrug*
goodloving10: if people in general didnt struggle through life or feel pain then what would life be? meaningless in the sense that there wouldnt be any appreciation for the things that bring us joy that enable us to get back on our feet again...you always need that contrast to know that there is a contrast
